.

I watered and watered a dying plant

Eventually the leaves began to wilt

The stems turned brown and somber

As the walls of my heart soon felt

The pain ate at my insides 

As I sat waiting for you

I never expected an appearance

You were with someone else, I knew

I patched each break in my heart

With a rope and some glue 

I changed it all, I tried everything new

In hopes of getting over you 

The closure I needed never came

Years have passed and it’s still the same

I could just say hello, how are you? 

But I shouldn’t extend a branch towards you

DEC 25. 2016, 1:58AM

The vacancy around me in this large bed-
The thoughts swarm and possess
They’ve made a fucking mess

in my head.

Nearly impossible this thought to confess:
But as I sleep tonight where I reside,
Away from you, the embrace of your arms
Under the covers, my loneliness attempts to hide.

I turn out all of the blinding lights;
I remember the absence of you tonight.
To crawl into bed without your touch,
Missing your warm, soft feet and such…

I beg my body to be wrapped in yours
With you in my arms my heart, it soars

Wherever we go, whoever we meet,
I have a constant and that’s my love for you
No matter the past, the pain, the pursuit
My love will carry to the end; I’ll push through.

Because I’ve found for you a safe place in my heart
To the man giving the most beautiful love I’ve truly known
The warmth of my lover never letting go
That is the place that I will call home.

My Beast.

I don’t want you to forget about me.
I don’t want you to forget about the words you read.

I don’t want to be just a memory.
I never wanted to plead.

I refuse to be a nobody,
But I need.
I need.
I need.

I beg for a lyric, a song, a story,
Without a thorough proofread.

Oh I plead,
I plead.
I plead.

But the beast in me will never seize,
And I know you’ll watch as I leave.

Fly Away.

the white bird sings

see (sweet) tempting

savor

your tongue

taste my lips

black birds

                                crow(n)

the

pure

          worship the white

faces with fingers

down throughts (throats)

        slits

                    hidden                                                                                                     follow me____

into this darkness

i’m in

deep

understanding

complicated                                          by

black birds

screaming

 

Vultures.

People behind every corner

watching

waiting

To see what comes next

A glance under cut open skin

I hate that you see

a most beautiful

complimented

me.

                                                                     Under skin

I dare you to compliment

to complicate

what lies

within.

I hate you for deception of

                 what’s

                                    inside.

A day passes by

                  tell me –

do you see what

I am?

do you believe?

Blackbird.

A broken heart every night
As I leave you in bed alone
Cold and vacant my spot by you
The warmth of my body now known

“I will do anything” you beg
To keep me lying next to you
But it has come my time to go
Yet this is something that you knew

Kiss you on the forehead gently
Absorbing what my eyes can see
Take in your sweet serenity
Say your sleeping goodbye to me

Dream of the day that I come back
When blackbirds start their early sing
But as for tomorrow, my love
I shall be gone in the morning

Too Young to Know Love.

Touch my cheeks
Like you do
Oh gently
So he speaks

Now grab more
Jerk my eyes
To meet yours

Look me dead
No hold back
Words you’ve said

Don’t forget
The fire
My eyes lit
Flames for you

Messy.

How could it ever be
My overbite smile
My rough and scarred knee
My makeup lined eyes
My anger degree
My muscular thighs
My young boyish hands
My indecisive mind
How my haunting thoughts see
How I’m not always kind
With these insecurities
How could it ever be
That you want to love me?

The mess that I am
Seeking help in you
An unstable woman
Who I give my mind to

I don’t mean to destroy
But what else can I do
When everything that I am
Will never be enough for you

Your Second Troy.

I set fire to your skin,
The high, burning sensation.
With my most violent ways.
Everlasting destructive phase.

Your eyes reflected demons,
On the days that mine fought back.
A grenade rest in my hand,
Our city under attack.

The monster in me released,
Villan, vampire, satan, beast.
Yet beauty like a tightened bow,
Too cruel to know, you reap what you sow.

Although, what could I have done
While being what I am?
Unnatural in an age like this.
You, the ignorant man

Taught my mind a fictitious pain.
Villan, vampire, satan, beast.
Feral, sick woman by your claim.
With this deceit my pain increased.

I stole back my solitary and guts
As time allowed me the courage to learn,
I filled your days for you to destroy us.
You were never truly my Troy to burn.

Your Queen.

I wrote this while driving.

 

A little more bearable,
You set my nerves at ease.
My running mind–
Your eyes it sees.
 
Your lips on my cheek,
Your hand on my thigh,
Firm and protective.
I ask myself why
 
You choose to love me,
Treat me like a queen.
How did I get so lucky
To be the woman you see?
 
Your sweet smile,
Your smirk,
Your sigh,
That excited look in your eye
When you speak with passion.
 
I see it all and
I breathe it in.
Every second with you
My love only deepens.