How could it ever be
My overbite smile
My rough and scarred knee
My makeup lined eyes
My anger degree
My muscular thighs
My young boyish hands
My indecisive mind
How my haunting thoughts see
How I’m not always kind
With these insecurities
How could it ever be
That you want to love me?
The mess that I am
Seeking help in you
An unstable woman
Who I give my mind to
I don’t mean to destroy
But what else can I do
When everything that I am
Will never be enough for you
I set fire to your skin,
The high, burning sensation.
With my most violent ways.
Everlasting destructive phase.
Your eyes reflected demons,
On the days that mine fought back.
A grenade rest in my hand,
Our city under attack.
The monster in me released,
Villan, vampire, satan, beast.
Yet beauty like a tightened bow,
Too cruel to know, you reap what you sow.
Although, what could I have done
While being what I am?
Unnatural in an age like this.
You, the ignorant man
Taught my mind a fictitious pain.
Villan, vampire, satan, beast.
Feral, sick woman by your claim.
With this deceit my pain increased.
I stole back my solitary and guts
As time allowed me the courage to learn,
I filled your days for you to destroy us.
You were never truly my Troy to burn.
I wrote this while driving.
A little more bearable,
You set my nerves at ease.
My running mind–
Your eyes it sees.
Your lips on my cheek,
Your hand on my thigh,
Firm and protective.
I ask myself why
You choose to love me,
Treat me like a queen.
How did I get so lucky
To be the woman you see?
Your sweet smile,
Your smirk,
Your sigh,
That excited look in your eye
When you speak with passion.
I see it all and
I breathe it in.
Every second with you
My love only deepens.
I was supposed to be better.
I was supposed to be new.
That version of myself was supposed to have died
Right along with him and I.
Every day, to myself he lied:
“It’s me who ruined you.”
But time has passed by,
And I’m still drowning in my sickness,
Holding my breath between each cry.
It turns out that a broken person isn’t fixed,
Just by saying goodbye.
Every tear rolling down my face—
Young, old, tomorrow, yesterday.
They each have their own special place.
The hands of my mother; they’ll lay.
My strength, it always comes from you,
By reminding me the right way.
My whole life I dedicate to
Your love that never goes away.
Every day shining with pure love,
Through your illuminating light
Of God almighty up above,
Showing how to walk by faith, not sight.
No bouquet of pretty flowers
Or dark chocolates filled with cream
Will ever be enough to show
How you are the mother of my dreams.
Many others say that they have
The greatest mother of them all.
But there is no one who compares,
Who always picks me up when I fall.
One thing that I know for certain
On earth there is no woman
Who spreads and carries within
A love so strong and pure—
The love of My Mother.
Songs of Existence 