This Thought.

The past is a funny thing.

It’s really got me thinking,

If it’ll always be seen corruptly.

Why can’t I look behind me and smile?

Instead I look forward and think “it’ll be a while,”

Until I overcome this obstacle.

When will I look back and not feel so hostile?

I want a happiness for my past,

And not gloom whenever I’m asked

What’s made me who I am,

Anyways who gives a damn

Why I’m me in the first place?

What matters is that I am, and for that I say grace.

Because I haven’t been corrupted by this world,

Instead it’s made my heart unfurled.

It’s grown in size.

It doesn’t hide in disguise,

Anymore.

No, the past hasn’t destroyed my soul.

Just the memory of it,

Sometimes drags me into a pit,

Of remorse.

But it doesn’t last long,

Until I realize it was all wrong.

Because if it wasn’t, my past would be my present,

And not something I resent.

Instead my present is my future,

And my past is history.

For that I should be thankful,

That today I am whole

Of nothing but love,

Because of the lessons I’ve learned,

And the stripes I’ve earned.

Words.

The words flow from my pen,

But stumble from my lips.

What’s the simplicity of writing on paper?

But in real life, I need a million scripts.

The thoughts overflow my brain;

They drive me insane.

But the words don’t come easily.

They don’t come much, nor ceaselessly.

At least I have this paper and pen,

So I’ll use it as my escape, again and again.

A compliment.

A simple compliment can make my day.

The fact that someone took the some to say,

“You look pretty,” to make me smile,

Even just for a little while

To be called…

Beautiful,

Gorgeous,

Precious,

Cute,

By someone near,

That’s something I’ll always be thankful to hear.

But the best compliment of all

Are not the words of what someone saw,

But instead what they felt by me.

Not what they see,

But of all I could be,

All that I am.

A compliment of my inner personality…

Careless,

Happy,

Giving,

A blessing—

That’s my purpose of living.

Not for as I appear,

But for the words I speak.

What people hear,

Because what matters is not what’s on the outside—

No, none of that can serve as a guide.

What matters is that as I speak,

The Word of God is what people want to seek.

The best words I can hear

Are that people recognize

My attempt at being

Kind,

Happy,

Joyful,

Loving,

A soul that’s free.

Because of the blessings God has given me,

For Him,

I am being the best I can be.

The Candle Burns.

You take my hand and pull me up

We dance in the darkness of your room

Our love– a fresh bloom

The aroma of cinnamon, I breathe through my nose

The music flows around my ears, a song I chose

But I hear nothing,

Nothing except

The beating of our hearts.

Pressed up against one another,

Joining together.

I close my eyes and sway with you,

I lose myself in the man who will someday

See me through

The candle burns

As my arms wrap tighter around your neck

There is no place I would rather be

Than here in your arms,

Where I feel most free.

Never Forgotten.

My heart is so heavy
From tragedy after tragedy

A life lost and nobody knows why
The youngest ones should never have to say goodbye

The pain is clear
and a silent scream is heard in every tear

Nobody deserved to die this young,
His song, it was thoroughly unsung

Why an open casket viewing?
Just another way to tear open hearts,
another harsh undoing

Sobs echo through the room as people see the body of
their brother
their lover
their son
their friend

One’s whose life shouldn’t have been put to an end

Friends and family carry the deceased
To the front of the church where he’s released

The father, grabbing his heart
The mother, completely falling apart
Words only mumbled from her lips,
and tears streaming from her eyes, she cries

Not one coherent thought,
just the haunt that her son is gone,
no matter how hard he fought

Suffering and sorrow
Knowing that everything is supposed to be normal,
only by tomorrow

To accept that he is really gone,
and our life is just supposed to go on

It’s unrealistic to think these broken hearts have that characteristic
The strength to move on,
when we know that he was a special one

At least he will live on forever,
Forgotten never
Always in our hearts
and in our lives, he will eternally be a part

A Mask.

These thoughts are lost in the maze of my mind, shoved all the way down

Making it simple to smile– easier to hide that frown

My heads up and I’m pushing through,

even if it seems like the hardest thing to do

Because the rain feels harsh on my cheeks,

but it can’t rain for days,

not even for weeks

To stand out in the pouring streams from the sky

will only last so long—eventually I’ll need to get dry

A time will come when the rain, it stops

and all of my heavy clothing, it drops

Here I’ll stand, naked and exposed

right in front of you,

no longer disclosed

I pray you take me for me

and in my eyes,

there’s no longer a wall blocking what you see

Uncovered, unsealed, ready for you

if only you’ll still be waiting,

waiting to see that view

Because the calm of the storm will turn to a soft hum,

sort of like the strings on a guitar that strum

Though the song now, it’s loud

It hurts my ears

This song now, it brings alive all of my fears

But the music continues to play,

even as I desperately pray this song away,

But I know soon, a new song will come on,

and that song, it will be forever gone

Just a distant memory,

of the person I was once expected to be

And your song, it’ll play louder

it’ll overpower my distant thought

and make me forget about the demons I once fought

But it won’t hurt my ears, no,

it won’t make me feel the need to lie low,

I’ll be screaming the lyrics of our love,

which I won’t feel I’m undeserving of

Although I may need a while,

to not have to hide from you

when I don’t have that real smile

But as for now,

negativity, it has no place,

there will always be a

smile on my face